I’m in eighth grade. Sitting in church waiting for Sunday Mass to begin. A girl walks in. A beautiful girl, blond, blue eyes. A classmate I’ve never uttered a word to. The star of the class, if physical beauty is the measuring stick. And it is, at least to this smitten kid. 

She lives on the next street over, though it might as well be on the far side of the moon. I’ve walked by her house lots of times. Never once have I knocked on her door or spoken to her.

I’m 13 years old and, I assume, so is she.

She crosses in front of me without a glance. I am invisible to her. 

As she passes, I am taken again by her beauty. I silently vow that I will never get married unless I marry her. I’ll become a priest instead. That’s the backup plan.

I smile at the memory.

Looking back, it’s funny and easy to dismiss as the teenage crush it was. But it’s also telling. What an extraordinary and outrageous thought for a kid with his whole life ahead of him! Yet I clung to it for a time.

Fast forward decades. These days, beauty still takes my breath away. I am grateful it does. Whether in a stranger’s face or a grandchild’s eyes. Or an exquisitely beautiful song.

Why?

No easy answer to that. At least not one I would attempt to pin down with words. Instead, I am content to point to poignant examples. 

Like this achingly beautiful Irish lament, sung in Gaelic, and the source of the image above.

Yes, this was created with AI, both the audio and the video. Not sure which tools, though YouTube’s Dream Screen and Dream Track are mentioned in the songs’ footnotes. Learning more about that is for another time. 

Some may question if creating beautiful art with the help of AI diminishes the creation in any way. 

I don’t think so, if my touched heart is any indication.

True, unsullied beauty is common enough in nature, though we are often dulled to it, busy as we are with our daily comings and goings. 

In people, pure, unclouded beauty is rare. Yet I always seem to be on the lookout for it. As if it’s a habit of lifetimes.

The why of it all will have to remain a mystery. Some answers are beyond words.

I’m okay with that.